By Autumn Rock
We are in a moment of upheaval — economically, environmentally, socially, and politically. People are scared, overwhelmed, and looking for direction. So we turn to leaders. But more and more, we’re faced with a difficult question:
Is this leadership? Or is it narcissism dressed up in power?
This isn’t just semantics. It matters. Because the traits we reward in our public figures shape the world we live in. And too often, we mistake grandstanding for strength, manipulation for strategy, and charisma for character.
So let’s pause and ask: what is real leadership, and how does it differ from narcissism?
The Traits of Real Leadership
1. Service over self. A real leader leads for the benefit of others, not to feed their own ego. They are accountable to something greater than themselves — the people, the mission, the future (Greenleaf, 2002).
2. Humility and curiosity. Leaders listen. They ask questions. They know they don’t know everything, and they don’t pretend to. They surround themselves with people who challenge them and offer differing perspectives (Collins, 2001).
3. Vision and collaboration. They build. They unite. They hold a clear vision of what could be — and they invite others into that vision, working across differences toward shared goals (Sinek, 2009).
4. Emotional maturity. True leaders regulate themselves. They don’t lash out in anger, scapegoat others, or create drama. They know when to speak, when to stay quiet, and when to take responsibility (Goleman, 1995).
5. Accountability. They own their mistakes. They don’t shift blame. They use failure as a learning opportunity and hold themselves — and their teams — to a high standard.
The Traits of Narcissistic Leadership (Which Is Not Leadership at All)
1. Ego over service. Narcissistic leaders operate from a need to be admired, not a desire to serve. Their identity is fused with their public image, and every decision is made to maintain dominance or superiority (Twenge & Campbell, 2009).
2. Grandiosity and entitlement. They see themselves as uniquely gifted or chosen. They exaggerate achievements, inflate importance, and often claim only they can “fix” things (Lee, 2019).
3. Smear campaigns and division. Rather than collaborating or building, they attack and divide. Narcissists rely on “us vs. them” thinking to energize supporters and eliminate perceived threats (Miller et al., 2011).
4. Lack of empathy. Narcissists are not motivated by the good of others — they lack emotional resonance and see people as tools for advancement or enemies to crush (Campbell & Miller, 2011).
5. Projection and blame-shifting. They never admit fault. Instead, they accuse others of the very behaviors they’re engaging in — a defense mechanism known as projection (Burgo, 2012).
Why This Matters Now
What we’re seeing — in the U.S., in Canada, and around the world — is a dangerous confusion between authority and integrity. It’s easy to get swept up in the energy of outrage, especially when times are hard. But that energy is being weaponized by people who are not interested in helping — only in winning.
Around the world we see political figures like Pierre Poilievre and Danielle Smith mirroring the strategies of Donald Trump, who over 35 mental health professionals described as a malignant narcissist in The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump (Lee, 2019). Their leadership styles rely heavily on deflection, personal attacks, and constant smear campaigning — not policy, cooperation, or nation-building.
This is not leadership. This is chaos creation. And it’s weakening our country — not strengthening it.
We Deserve Better — And We Must Demand It
Let’s stop confusing volume with vision, outrage with wisdom, or control with leadership.
We need leaders who do the slow, often thankless work of building something better. And we need to stop giving our attention and allegiance to those who tear things down while pretending they’re the only ones who can fix it.
At a minimum, let’s start supporting people who are actually trying to make things better — not those addicted to conflict, spectacle, and smear campaigns.
Because if we keep feeding narcissism, we won’t have anything left to lead.
References
Burgo, J. (2012). The narcissist you know: Defending yourself against extreme narcissists in an all-about-me age. Touchstone.
Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (Eds.). (2011). The handbook of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments. Wiley.
Collins, J. (2001). Good to great: Why some companies make the leap… and others don’t. HarperBusiness.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.
Greenleaf, R. K. (2002). Servant leadership: A journey into the nature of legitimate power and greatness. Paulist Press.
Lee, B. X. (Ed.). (2019). The dangerous case of Donald Trump: 37 psychiatrists and mental health experts assess a president (2nd ed.). Thomas Dunne Books.
Miller, J. D., Hoffman, B. J., Gaughan, E. T., Gentile, B., Maples, J., & Campbell, W. K. (2011). Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism: A nomological network analysis. Journal of Personality, 79(5), 1013–1042.
Sinek, S. (2009). Start with why: How great leaders inspire everyone to take action. Portfolio.
Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The narcissism epidemic: Living in the age of entitlement. Free Press.